Black Dutch

She Called Herself “Black Dutch”  
~ Millie Chalk

When my family now looks back at her pictures we wonder why we never questioned what she told us about herself.  Her skin was certainly dark enough with piercing dark eyes and hair that she wore in long braids tied up around her head.  I guess we assumed that was a “Dutch” thing.

I don’t remember a time when I ever saw my Grandmother smile.  She was always very reserved simply going about taking care of her house.  We didn’t visit her much and when we did it was mostly out of obligation because I think my mother found it difficult to relate to her.  She wasn’t bubbly or fun and lighthearted the way my mother’s side of the family was.  Had there ever been much in the way of conversation with us she may have discovered the pride that we had been raised with because of the knowledge that we were just a small part Choctaw.

I remember growing up wishing I had more Native American in my blood.  I’m not sure why because I was never taught in schools that it was something to be proud of and yet I was.  Knowing what I know now about her makes me wonder how different my life would have been if she had shared with us that she was full blood Cherokee adopted at birth.

She was born in 1900 and adopted by a white couple with only two other children.  She was raised as their daughter on a large ranch in Arizona.   Obviously she had been taught to keep her heritage a secret but she did know about who she was because she had confessed it to her daughter, (my Aunt) on her deathbed with my Aunt holding the information in the strictest confidence until it was confessed to my Sister when my Aunt was dying.

Thinking back to when I was a child and in her presence and remembering the sadness that was always present in her eyes I can’t help but wonder how different all of our lives would have been had she not had such an awful stigma placed upon her for who she was.

I feel that joy was within her, right below the surface, fighting, waiting to break free of society’s judgments and labels.  I think of how different her life would have been, her children’s lives would have been and how different I would have been.  I mourn that she left this world unable to be proud of who her ancestors were and who she was born to be.  I mourn that I was unable to learn by her side what it was to be Native American and that the government’s campaign of “killing the Indian” was a booming success. 

I have to wonder how many of us are out there?  How many of us are raised wasicu, never to know what a rich heritage we share with so many?  As a white person the closest thing I can claim in the way of culture is being able to speak, “valley girl”.  I have no connection to anyone or anything, no traditions, and no stories.

I know there are many problems for the Native American communities and the adoption of Native Children to white parents is one of them.  I can see how the need exists but it breaks my heart to think there will be other generations to come that will be kept in the dark as I have been and that a rich and beautiful culture along with the sense of belonging it creates will be kept a secret from those who deserve to own it. 

This is a complicated problem hundreds of years in the making with government, society and Native Americans themselves being responsible.  The only clear answer I can see is greater awareness.  Slowly the lies that have been taught to us through our schools and the media are being revealed and replaced with wonderful truths of who our Native Americans really are, what they believe and what they can teach us about living on this earth in greater harmony.

This is why I support Whisper-n-Thunder.  I see our magazine as a first step in the process of helping to bring our Native peoples back into the light that once shined so brightly and that holds the promise to someday soon shine again.  I want to be a part of the movement that will help to reunite the people with their culture, their families, their ancestors and their stories.  I am so humbled, honored and proud to be a part of this great effort and look forward to a long list of opportunities to “set the record straight”, sharing with others what I  know about our First Nation Peoples.


                  All Photos Courtest Millie Chalk  Rights Reserved